I restarted, then promptly forgot to blog. It's okay though, I'm going to get better...I need this blog for a lot of reasons, both weight loss related and not.
But, starting with weight loss, here is where I'm at....I've only lost .6 pounds since I started a month ago...BUT, considering I gained about 5 pounds at first, I'm good with this...in the past two weeks I've lost 5.6 pounds. That's something.
Shit happens. That's life.
I've really focused this past week on trying to change my environment to make it more conducive to losing weight. I cleaned out my fridge, I did some meal planning, and I had some honest discussions with myself about how I need to re-establish my personal boundaries.
I've become a victim of my own success at work. Basically, I'm really good at both my jobs, and since it feels good to finally be rewarded for my skills, I want to work all the time.
The money is nice, but the fact that I have almost no down time is killing me slowly. I'm barely aware of when I'm coming and going - making it hard to plan my meals or get in a workout (or shower).
I've also fallen victim to another trap - feeling peer pressured into drinking. Now, my friends don't overtly force me to drink, but every single thing we do of focused around beer....Membership meeting for a club we are in? Beer. Book club? Beer (to be fair, it is call Spines and Steins...and I named it, but yeah...). A girls' night in (sleepover)? Beer. Movie? Beer afterwards. Like, can't we just hang out and visit? If we need beer to be social, we must not be very interesting people...and I know that's not true.
No more.
I just can't make it about beer anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love a good craft beer, but I'd love it even more if I just had one, savored it, and then was done. I'd rather be healthy than be drunk any day. And, to be fair, I don't actually enjoy being drunk. I'm too much of a control freak for it.
I don't want to lose my friendships with these people, but I'll be honest and say that I'm worried it may happen. I know at least one of them will be fine with it, and she may even join me with re-framing our socializing around other behaviors (instead of a bitchfest over a beer and burger, how about we go for a walk around Grey's Lake?)...I'm not sure what will happen with the others. I hope they are inspired by my change in attitude and not offended, but who knows.
I've been down this road before, and it wouldn't be the first time I had to distance myself from people who were not on board with me making healthier choices for myself. It sucks. I'm not going to sugar coat it. I've come to realize these folks probably weren't my friends to be begin with, and at the same time, I shouldn't assume it will happen again...that's not fair to these women.
We'll see...
Today's weight: 192.8
9 pounds to 5%, 18 pounds to 10% - I'd be pretty freaking stoked to be there by my birthday in August. Here's to hoping.
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