30 Days of Truth, Days Nine and Ten: On Letting-Go...

The last couple of days have been a bummer for me...no wait, scratch that, yesterday morning I started the week in a great mood and it lasted the entire day until about 6:30 last night.  Then "BAM!" (think Emeril) craptastic mood.  It was still here this morning when I had my state mandated re-employment services orientation, so getting up earlier than I have in months was extra hard.  The orientation was very useful and eye-opening and all I can say is I have a lot of work to do.  The job market is very different from when I graduated college 5 years ago and I need to learn to market myself better.  Something else to work on. 

Then, this evening, my grandfather (the only one I have left) called to let me and my mother know that he has been diagnosed with stage two lung cancer. I'm not as close to him as I was to my late grandmother, but I still don't want to lose him.  Not yet, I need to have some great-grandbabies for him to meet first so he can tell my grandmother all about them.  So, my readers of faith, please send some prayers his way and my readers without faith, just send positive thoughts :)  Thanks.

Okay...back to my Days of Truth...

Days Nine and Ten: Someone I Didn't Want to Let Go, but Who Drifted Away & Someone I Need to Let Go But Can't

"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."

       ~Unknown


I've had a lot of friends come in and out of my life over the years and I generally don't think much about it.  Now, before you think I'm some sort of anti-social person, please let me explain.  First off, I'm an INFJ.  INFJ refers to Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judgement personality type of the Myers-Briggs personality analysis test.  I'm not going to get into what that all means as the details could be a three or four blog entries in and of themselves, but I will state one of the traits of this rare personality is that we tend to easily let people out of our lives if we know it is done.  I'm exactly this...I have friends who have drifted away for one reason or another and while I miss them, I think of this as more of a process of life.  People sometimes grow apart and that's okay with me.  Sometimes those same people find each other again at a different point on their paths and if so it is great!  If not, no biggie.  Whenever I start missing these long lost friends I usually send them love and light and then go back to whatever I was doing.  To me, this is natural. 

As for people I need to purposely let go as opposed to them just drifting...again, as long as I'm sure there is no longer a relationship, I can easily let the person go and move on.  But, that's the tricky part for me, I have to know they are done and I'm done and that's not always clear.  I've had to, in the last few years, figure out how to tell if I'm done with someone.  I'm much better at this than I used to be, now I think of it like a jewelry box of friends that occasionally needs pared down; if the person is no longer someone I love or find useful (think business) I try to let them go.  Again, this does not mean I think they are garbage and need to just be thrown out, its more me saying that I would rather spend my energy on the few close friends and family I have rather than try to wear myself thin being shallow friends with lots of people (again, an INFJ trait).   By setting them free, so to speak, they are able to be enjoyed by other people.  And sometimes I find myself missing these people too, and as with my drifting friends I send them love and light and then go back to my life.