First, apologies are due for missing yesterday. I'm working on my sketchbook for "The Sketchbook Project" trying to get it to a level of unsuckiness before I mail it on Saturday and thus forgot to write. Sorry again. So now, for a super long post...
Something I Have to Forgive Someone For
Well, I'm generally pretty good at forgiving people. In fact, I'm better at forgiving others than I am myself, but there is ONE person I've just never been able to forgive.
I'm not going to mention his name, but I went to middle and some of high school with him. He teased, no wait, harassed me mercilessly from the time I was about 12 until he was finally kicked out of my school during Sophomore year (obviously a bad kid). I don't want to get into details (sorry, ya'll, it's very private) but there was an encounter that caused me to report him to some officials during my Eighth Grade year of school. To this day, if I hear his name or see him on the street I become frightened and sick to my stomach. He is the only person I truly hate and it's been 14 years from the encounter I mentioned.
Now, given how obviously strong my emotions are about this person, some of you may think I'm just in not forgiving him. And, I probably am, but I need to for no other reason than to not be angry at him. It's not hurting him at all that I'm angry, it's hurting me. I need to forgive him for myself...and I'll work on it.
Something I Want To Do In My Life
Up until about two years ago, I was never sure if I wanted kids. Now, don't get me wrong, I love children - I'm the best "Auntie" in the world - but I always figured I had plenty of time to figure it out and not to worry about it...
Then something happened. I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (or PCOS) in April 2009 and found out (among many things) that I may have trouble conceiving when/if I do try to have children and the longer I waited the harder it would be. Suddenly, the having plenty of time to decide was no longer an option and I was devastated. In this moment I realized that deep down in my soul I desperately wanted to become a mother. And I wanted to grow the child myself. I want to understand this sacred and unique part of being a woman. So, I took action to make it happen.
I now work-out and eat in a specific way and take my meds with the exact goal of saving my fertility so when I find my partner in life we can have children. It's something I constantly do and manage (and there have been other health benefits - bonus!). Now, to find a dude :D
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