30 Days of Truth, Days Nineteen thru Twenty-One

Brief weight loss update: at this morning's weigh-in I surpassed another 5 mark milestone - I'm officially down 67 pounds!!!  It's messing with me a bit though because I'm now within 20 pounds of my goal weight and I don't feel like I'm really that close.  While I know that I'm much, much smaller than I was at my start weight, I still feel like a fat girl.  I've heard from other friends who have lost significant amounts of weight that it took some time for them to mentally catch up with their new bodies.  Maybe I need to do more shopping or something...

"You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be."

~ David Viscott

Anyways...back to the matter at hand.

Day Nineteen: What I Think About Religion

I think religion is a very personal thing and each individual has the right to figure out what they do and don't believe.  One of my "30 Before 30" goals was to find and start actively practicing a religion or faith.  I've been searching since middle school for a faith that worked for me without much success.  Maybe I should give ya'll a brief background before I proceed with where I am now.

I was birthed into an Italian, Roman Catholic family.  I was baptized, completed First Communion and Reconciliation but decided, on my own at the age of 12, to stop before Confirmation.  The reason for this is that during Catechism classes I had my first exposure to sexism.  I won't go into the whole story, but I was more or less told by our instructor that while he appreciated that I studied our material so well, it really wasn't necessary because I would eventually get married and my husband would do all the thinking for me.  Basically, since I was born with a vagina, I didn't need my brain.  This is when I figured out my first rule: "I would be no part of any religion that uses G-d (or whoever they worship) as an excuse to treat others like they are less than human."

"People see G-d everyday, they just don't recognize Him."

~ Pearl Bailey

Over the years I've tried many forms of Christianity, but none of them really worked for me.  One reason was that A LOT of them violate my first rule.   Another reason is because I have a significant amount of doubt about Jesus being the Messiah.  I just don't think he is...do I think he was a good person, a good orator, maybe even a good preacher?  Sure.  But not a messiah (note to my religious friends: I realize you all now think I'm going to hell.  I'm not.  Says so in the Bible.  Read it.  Besides, I don't believe in hell - that's a Christian thing.)  So...I've spent several years knowing that Christianity isn't really my thing, while still celebrating Christmas and Easter since I'm, if nothing else, culturally Christian.  But I've continued to figure out what I believe...

I DO believe in one G-d who is almighty and loving.  I also believe that my relationship with Him (and I use Him only out of laziness - I don't think G-d has a gender) is deeply personal and not something I have to force onto others.  I believe in the power of prayer and meditation as a way to build my relationship and love with Him as well as a way for him to help me realize what I need to do since I believe that G-d acts through people.  I also believe He wouldn't have given me anything I wasn't supposed to use...especially my brain.  

"In Judaism, there are 613 biblical commandments, and the Talmud says that the chief commandment of all is study."

~ Norman Lamm

With my resolve to find my faith before I turn 30, I started reading and asking more questions and, with the help of a friend of mine, I started exploring something that should have hit me over the head a long time ago...Judaism.  I'm currently reading and studying it and from where I am right now, I like it.  I can't say it's perfect though as there isn't a Jewish place of worship for me to visit in Northwest Iowa, so I guess we'll have to see if I'm still feeling it when I move East.  I mean, it's not called "Jew York" for nothing. 

Day Twenty: What Do I Think of Drugs and Alcohol

Briefly, I think that as long as they are used responsibly, there is nothing wrong with them.  Also, I think they should be legalized (and patrolled and taxed) for anyone over 18 because I feel that if you are old enough to fight and die in the armed forces, you're old enough to have a beer and smoke a joint. 

Day Twenty-One: (scenario) My Best Friend and I Are in A Fight and Then She's in a Car Accident.  What Do I Do?

I go to Briggs.  Forgive her and ask her to forgive me.  Then I pray for her to heal.  The end.